Background to the fiasco
- Michael Jay Tucker's explosive-cargo
- Oct 30
- 4 min read
Okay, so I’m telling you about of our disastrous trip to Kansas...well, honestly, it wasn’t just disastrous. It was a total, complete, and utter fiasco. Sort of like the Three Stooges Meet Godzilla. Soundtrack by Philip J. Cacophony. Pies for the pie-fight provided by _The Help_. Specifically, Minny. With the extra-special secret ingredient. If you don’t know what I’m talking about, you’re better off that way.
Where was I? Oh, yes. So how did we get into this mess in the first place? Well, you’ll recall that we had driven up from Texas to see our friend, Judy, in Winfield, KS. We spent a week there. Very nice place, really. If you can, and if you like great Bluegrass (and other) music, visit in the Fall during the Walnut Valley Festival.(1)
The plan from there was that she’d pack her bags and come back to Georgetown with us. Then, she’d spend another week with us, and after that we’d put her on a plane and she’d fly back to Kansas.
Except...except...things got complicated.(2) First, I don’t think any of us, including Judy herself, realized just how uncomfortable she’d be while traveling. As I say, she has a few minor mobility problems, but they translate into some serious pain if she’s in one place and in one position too long.
About the photos: First, a snap of Judy and Martha on a visit to Old Town in Albuquerque back in 2018. (Nothing to do with the story, but I just like the shot.) Second, one of my experimental photos. This is of a yard in Winfield, Kansas.
And, finally, in honor of Halloween, here’s a little Openart video of a haunted bus. Also, it isn’t a bad description of some buses I’ve seen of late. But maybe the paint job’s better.
We found this out the hard way on the drive with Judy back to Georgetown. The backseat of our little Subaru is not huge. So Judy started suffering some pretty intense leg cramps before we’d gone too many miles.
We dealt with the problem by stopping every chance we could and giving her a moment to walk around. But, it was clear that if we ever had to make this trip with her again, a standard-size car was simply out of the question.
But, that was okay, we figured, because she’d be on a plane when she returned home, and it’s only a three to four hour flight. She would be uncomfortable, but it wouldn’t be really painful for her.
Or so we thought.
Anyway, we got to Georgetown and things were better. We had a nice visit. And I think Judy enjoyed touring our little part of Texas. Then, a week went past, and we went to buy an airplane ticket for her return.
Guess what? Direct flights from Austin to Wichita are few and far between. Most likely, she’d have to change planes in St. Louis or Phoenix or even Las Vegas. (Say what? Fly from Austin to Nevada to go to Kansas? In what weird universe does that make sense?) That meant she’d have to walk from one gate to another, and who knows how far that would be? Or she’d need someone to push her in a wheelchair. If someone could be found to do so. And on...and on...and on.
Okay, that meant that one of us was going to have to go with her. Martha figured she’d fly with Judy to Wichita, get her home to Winfield, and then fly back to Texas. But, we got to thinking about that, and we remembered that Martha, too, has some small mobility problems, and someone would have to carry the luggage...etc., etc., etc. ....so, in the end, we decided that both of us would go with her and both would then fly back.
Cool. We had it all fixed, right? Problem solved, right? We’re soooo smart. Aren’t we?
Ah...no. Actually.
There’s this little thing called a “Real ID.” Remember that one? It’s the special state-issued driver’s license or other ID card that meets certain federal security standards. It’s the thing that you absolutely HAVE to have to get on a plane these days.
Wanna guess what happens next? Go on. Guess. I dare you. I double dog dare you. I triple dog dare you with a side order of derisive barking.
Yes. That’s right. Judy didn’t have one.
Well, actually, she DID. The week before we arrived in Winfield, she’d taken her birth certificate and a bunch of other documents to the DMV. They took her picture and said they’d mail her a Real-ID compliant driver’s license.
Which. Would. Not. Arrive. In. The. Mail. For. Four. Weeks.
In the meanwhile, they gave her a printed, paper, temporary driver’s license.
But...still no problem, right? That would work just fine, wouldn’t it?
And, now, while we’re playing guessing games...you wanna guess what we then discovered the TSA will NOT accept if you try to fly? [Here’s a hint. Fill in the missing letters: A T_mporary Dr_ver’s L_cense.]
Why, by George, you’re right. How clever of you. We had a PROBLEM.
But not to worry. Good ole Michael Jay’s on the case. He’ll come up with a solution.
Which will make everything a whoooooole lot worse.
More to come.
Footnotes:
1. See “Walnut Valley Festival,” Wikipedia, https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Walnut_Valley_Festival and Walnut Valley Festival, https://www.wvfest.com/
2. Don’t they always?
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Well that’s an interesting story. We travel so much we got our real ID last year, backed up by our Global Entry ID which gets us to the front of the line and that is backed up by our Passports which work well.