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The Boiler Room


Okay, so, last time, I had us in the offices of The Big & Famous Hotel Company, and we were about to get subjected to a marketing Blitzkrieg. It was basically going to be shock-and-awe without Napalm and High Explosives...but with high pressure sales tactics in their place.


We were being escorted out of the lobby by a tall, blonde woman in a bright green business suit. She led us into another area of the penthouse office. It looked like it might normally function as some sort of dining area -- it was large, and empty, with tables throughout, and chairs around those tables.


The way it worked was that sales people...like our lady in green...would lead their prospects to a table, get them seated, and then launch off into their spiel. After about an hour or so of that, the clients would be led away to watch a video in a sort of theater room about the timeshare properties and how wonderful they were. Then, the clients would be brought back to the tables for a meeting with yet another salesperson. Then, I think, they would be taken to a private office with yet another salesperson to “close the deal.”


Oh, and in the middle of the temporarily repurposed dining room, there was a cluster of computers and men in suits who I took to be higher-ups. They seemed to be monitoring (somehow) the interactions at the tables.


It all felt a bit like the villain’s lair in a Bond movie.


Anyway, the woman started in on us. She said what a wonderful deal we were getting and how we had to move quickly because...


I stopped her. I was polite, but I said that we hadn’t been told this was a sales event for a timeshare program.


She didn’t bristle, but she hurriedly said that the timeshare business “had completely changed,” and, in fact, she didn’t even like to call it timeshare anymore. She “preferred to call it ‘vacation ownership.’”


I said that was fine. Lovely even. But we weren’t in a position to buy a timeshare membership right now. However, we could listen to the presentation and make a decision later.


Well, no, she said. That wasn't possible, really. You sort of had to make a decision today, one way or the other. There was a premium program you could only get today.


Today? we said.


Today, she answered.


Yikes, I thought.


I restated that we weren’t going to buy anything today. We bought nothing impulsively. Particularly not something that cost many thousand dollars. We could listen to the presentation, but We Would Not Buy Anything Right Now.


A painful pause. Then, she said: Are you aware that the presentation will last at least two hours?


I answered, Why, No. We weren’t.


She asked, do you have time to stay for two hours?


No.



About the photos: Two today. First, another view out the windows of The Big & Famous Hotel Company. This is the state capitol building. Second, Martha and her friend/sister Judy in downtown Austin the restaurant Tejas back in 2021.


It was then that I realized that one of the Big Wigs from the computers in the center of the room was headed our way. They had flagged us as A Problem. The woman in green rose and spoke to him hurriedly. Then he appeared at our table and, with a huge smile, offered to refund our $75. Then, with many a fond farewell, he escorted us to the elevators, called a guard to come and get us, and...a moment later...we were free.


We hurried to our car, went and got lunch, and then had a lovely afternoon touring downtown Austin.


Afterwards, Martha flattered me by saying that I’d handled the whole affair brilliantly. She was impressed by the way that I’ve never once raised my voice...never been rude or impolite...yet I got our money back, and I’d gotten us out of an uncomfortable situation, *and* I’d made sure they knew we weren’t pleased with the fact that we had been misled.


Which was lovely to hear. But, I must confess, I’m still angry about the whole business. I’m angry because the company lied to us. We were told that all we had to do was “tour a new hotel” and then we’d get “a two-night stay in any of our facilities” as a reward. No one mentioned timeshares. No one mentioned sales.


But, also, and more so, I’m angry at myself. I didn’t trust my gut. I knew what we were getting into. I had seen the scam before. The whole thing was covered with red flags. Yet...even so...I let us get into it. I let us drive all the way to Austin and waste a morning dealing with fools.


And I’m not sure why I let that happen. I suppose, if I were being ungracious, I could blame Martha. I could claim that she’d been so excited about the bargain (“two nights for $75?!”) that I hadn’t wanted to distress her...or had been carried away by her enthusiasm. But I know that wouldn’t be true. I could have simply taken her aside, that day at the Mermaid Faire, and explained my concerns. She would have been disappointed, but she would have understood.


No. I guess...I guess...my real problem was simply that I didn’t trust myself that day at the Faire. I didn’t trust my own instincts. I didn’t trust my own expertise.


You’d think that after spending fully 67 years on this rotating old rock called Earth, I would have gotten beyond that sort of thing. You’d think I would have learned to have at least a little faith in my own small store of wisdom. It may not be much, but it is there, and I ought to pay it some heed.


Ah well. Maybe next time.


Anyway, that ends the story of our trip to San Marcos to see the Mermaids...and the weird things that followed. But, stay tuned, there’s lots more to come.


Next up, our trip to the strange and wonderful town of Marfa, Texas...home of tumbleweeds, bohemians, and serious Big League Art...


...in concrete.


More to come.






Copyright©2024 Michael Jay Tucker

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~mjt


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