Today, we have a whimsical assortment of some of the stranger thoughts that have whisked through my noggin of late. Many of these are political, and a bit on the left, so, if you’re on the Extreme Right…and seriously believe that Lizard People from Alpha Draconis are practicing human sacrifices in the cellar of a DC pizza shop (which has no basement)…
Well, maybe, you will want to skip this one.
Also, while you’re at it…maybe, consider…finding a therapist.
‘Cause Bro, you need one…
Dude, you need serious help
I saw the other day that Fox News is attempting to dismiss a $2.7 billion lawsuit from the voting machine company Smartmatic in a most remarkable way. Fox is saying that when it promoted “baseless” reports (i.e., lies) of a vast conspiracy to jigger the vote in favor of Biden, it was only reporting what it had heard from Trump’s lawyers. So, it wasn’t really and for truly responsible for the inaccuracy of its reportage.
And all those years I was a journalist I sweat blood to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. And now I learn I could’a been just making crap up the whole time. I mean, for goodness sakes, that would have been so much easier. And heck, probably much more interesting than, you know, boring old facts.
Still, better late than never…
So, did I tell you about what my sources say about Rupert Murdock’s love life? Well, it seems that there’s this aardvark and a 30 gallon drum of cream cheese….
Talking about really weird legal defenses, I read that Richard Barnett, the June 6 rioter who posed in House Speaker Nancy Pelosi ’s office, is saying that he deserves bail. Why? Well, it is because the prosecutors want to deny him release on the rather reasonable grounds that he left a note in Speaker Pelosi’s office that, among many other things, called her a “bitch.” That kind of language, say the prosecutors, might indicate he could be dangerous and so he should stay safely tucked away in prison.
But, say his lawyers, he didn’t write any such thing at all. What he wrote, according to his lawyers, was that she was a “biatch.” Which is much less offensive, they’re just sure.
In a word, huh?
Okay, let’s apply the same principle. I suggest Barnett and the whole June 6 crew are a bunch of G*d D*mn D*mwitted As*holes Who Should Be Left In Jail Until They FVcking Rot.
See there? Not a real swear word in the lot. How could anyone possibly take offense?
I read today that some Catholic Bishops are saying that they want to prevent Joe Biden from taking communion if he doesn’t come out against abortion.
To which I reply, “Dudes…dudes!…you’re losing parishioners right, left, and center. Do you really, really want to effectively identify yourselves with Trumpsters (many of whom hate you anyway), and thus piss off virtually every Democrat and Liberal on the planet? Not to mention alienate the young people who will determine whether or not your church has a future at all? And all this after you’ve just barely managed to weather one of the biggest child abuse scandals in American history?
“If you want to commit organizational suicide, I can think of a lot quicker ways.”
Late last month (specifically, 28 April, 2021), Federal agents executed a search warrant on the home and office of Rudolph (“Rudy the Pip”) Giuliani as part of their ongoing investigation of his (and Trump’s, probably) involvement with Ukraine.
Man! I’m glad I wasn’t there. I mean, can you imagine? Cracking Rudy’s inner sanctum must have been like opening Nosferatu’s tomb. Nothing there but jars of hair dye and blood plasma.
So in February we had the Ice Storm. In March we had tornado warnings. In April we had more tornado warnings, plus severe storm alerts, and rain. Last night we had still more tornado warnings. This morning, May Day, we had severe storm warnings, heavy rain, and a Flash Flood alert.
Look. Don’t get me wrong. Texas can be great.
Sometimes I sure miss New Mexico.
And Boston. And Winchester. And New Hampshire. And Amherst. And Northern California. And Vermont. And Colorado. And….
Sometimes I really miss New Mexico...
I see that the GOP is increasingly turning up the heat on big business. The party’s leaders are criticizing corporations, not to mention individual business professionals, for being PC.
The irony of this is, of course, overwhelming. The Party of Business has become, somehow, the Party of Business-bashing. And the really strange part is that it just might work for the Republicans. Increasingly, they rely on the votes of angry, blue collar men and women who feel left behind by the nation’s economy and despised by its cultural elites. For such people, large corporations…like the “liberal media,” and the University…are public enemies.
And thus we have a fascinating vision of the future. It will be an age in which the Party that said in the 1950s that liberals and centrists were no better than Communists…
…now in the twenty-first century embraces people and positions that are so Red that they’d make Lenin say, “Whoa, dude, slow down! You’re scaring me!”
Which brings up a very old joke. And a truism. The truism first. You know how they say that no discussion on the web can go ten postings without bringing up Hitler? Well, here he is.
The joke is as follows. In the 1930s, Germans said that his Brownshirts, the Sturmabteilung (SA), were just beefsteak nationalists…
Brown on the outside. Red on the inside.
I wonder how long it will be before business people, once the GOP’s most stalwart supporters, remember that joke.
And discover it isn’t in the least bit funny.
Until next time…
Onward and Upward
Copyright©2021 Michael Jay Tucker