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Depth Charges!

Hey, All!

Happy Labor Day, everyone! Hope you’re having a good long weekend, even though you’re probably (like us) still in some form of quarantine.

Alas, I, myself, have not labored hard for this Labor Day. Instead of offering a witty, charming, and insightful little essay for your morning…

I’m going to give you again the lowest form of explosive-cargo…

Depth Charges!


So Trump says that Biden’s controlled by the Shadow People? Geez. I was so wrong. And all this time I thought it was elves, pixies, and fairies. Just goes to show.

Pixies, Elves, etc.


I see that Marjorie Taylor Greene, the GOP candidate poised to represent a blood-red district in Atlanta, posted a picture of herself wearing a stylish pantsuit while hefting a gun and overtly threatening three liberal Congresswomen.

In a word, Jesus H. Christ.

Okay, that’s three words, but still…this is what Republicans have come to?

It’s like the Ku Klux Klan meets The Devil Wears Prada.


Seriously, can you imagine the response if a black, male politician appeared with a gun and threatened three white, conservative members of Congress?

He’d be in jail by sundown, and maybe a whole lot worse by morning.


Speaking of Marjorie Taylor Greene, you’ll also recall that she’s a proponent of the QAnon fantasy, a conspiracy theory so goofy that it makes Pizzagate look like the third law of thermodynamics.

Though, given their taste for such things, I’m sort of surprised that the Right doesn’t go in even more for conspiracy theories. Might even be useful right now. For example, it’s clear that Trump is screwing up, so, to get around that, just claim that he was replaced by a double in 2019. You can pretend everything went fine before that, but then the Martians (or whoever) swapped him out for a robot just before Covid hit.

No. On second thought. Let’s keep that entirely between ourselves.

We don’t wanna give ‘em any ideas.

Don't Give 'Em Any Ideas


Which reminds me of the following:

From Casino Royale (1967)

Dr. Noah/Jimmy Bond (played by Woody Allen)

These are the real people. I've already

substituted my robots for them.

At this very minute the world is being

ruled by duplicates under my control.

The Detainer (played by Daliah Lavi ), speaking sarcastically

Well, that explains a lot of things.

Source: Copyright©1967 © Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer Studios Inc


I’m sure you’ve already seen this, but there was a boat rally for Trump the other day at Lake Travis, which is near where I live. The problem? The weather got bad and several of the watercraft got swamped and the Trumpian boaters had to be rescued by the Sheriff’s Department—an organization which, btw, might be defunded in the Libertarian New World Ordered envisioned by some of Trump’s closer billionaire friends.

But the point is that here we have a perfect metaphor for the Trump Administration, beginning with much fanfare and vast confidence, and ending in disaster with Storm and Wave.

All we need to make it perfect would be an attack by the Loch Ness monster…who we’d rename for the nonce, Covidasaur.



I read that a biker has died after catching Covid at the Sturgis motorcycle rally, and he probably won’t be the last. Gee willikers. If only someone could have possibly predicted that having more than 400,000 people without masks crammed into a town of just four square miles in the middle of a pandemic might have had negative consequences.

I mean, Gosh. Golly. Gee.


I saw in Huffpost the other day that “500 Faith Leaders” have endorsed Biden/Harris. Those 500 included Christians, Muslims, Jews, Hindus, Sikhs, Humanists, and on and on. And they came from Right, Left, and Center. In a word, whoa. So, I’m guessing that just maybe Trump isn’t God after all. May come as an awful shock to him.


Along similar lines, I see in The Guardian that “Eighty-one Nobel winners back 'pro-science' Biden for president.” Jeez. No wonder Trump hates scientists. They keep asking sensible questions, and coming up with sensible answers. Next thing you know, they’ll be saying 2+2 does not equal 5. Big Brother would never approve.


And lastly…

I see that they’re now saying that Louis DeJoy, the guy 45 hired to wreck the U.S. Mails, came to prominence in the GOP as a fund raiser — but, his fund “raising” included using his employees as “donors” who were then reimbursed through bonuses. This is, btw, illegal.

It also comes on the heels of reports that DeJoy has some rather interesting adventures in his history, like, for instance, cutting his own brother out of the family company after the aforesaid brother helped turn the company into a multi-million dollar powerhouse.

You know…

Just once I’d like to read about a Trump appointee that didn’t make me want to go take a shower in Lysol.

Hazmat, what all the cool kids are wearing this year.


Until next time…

Onward and upward.



copyright © 2020 Michael Jay Tucker


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